I worship a religion called Whole Foods. You could definitely say that I tithe, I frequently go on Sundays, and all in the name in Organic Food. Organic Food has lead me to some other activities such as my organic food basket on Thursdays from Planet Organics and my recent consideration to eat solely local food for lent (ok, so neither of these are really activies, but whatever). Yet there is one aspect of organic food that makes me irate and want to raid all Safeways within an 100 mile radius to insure I never again have to consume-
Every organic mayonnaise I have bought tastes like a blend of raw egg whites, canola oil and tartar sauce. Slighty sour tartar sauce. gross. It doesn't make any sense. Because good ol’ chemical ridden Best Foods Real Mayonnaise has something in it that just makes sandwiches and coleslaw and potato salad taste right. I looked at the label:
Since all of the ingredients seem pretty natural except Calcium Disodium (and of course, "natural flavors"), I'm guessing that Calcium Disodium is the difference. Maybe Calcium Disodium should be a new ingredient in restaurants. "I'll have the fillet of sole with the porcini mushrooms and a calcium disodium brulee." Ok, maybe we won't go that far, but I'm definitely ready to crown Calcium Disodium as King of Picnic Food. Calcium Disodium is like the Stealers and organic mayonnaise is like the Broncos. No, not even the Broncos. The Niners. Yes, organic mayonnaise is exactly like the Niners. No matter how much you want to support them, they still suck. Will I be faithful?
Excuse me while I raid a Safeway…
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